responsibility? what’s that?

During my interactions with single men I’ve noticed something a little disturbing recently…

I’ve yet to meet a man who takes any accountability for why their past relationships have gone wrong. These men seem to go on and on about the women’s flaws and her part in all of it, but fail to make mention as to the part they played in the demise of the relationship. It’s kinda scary really that they take no accountability, and to be honest, a complete turn off.

It shows a lack of self awareness, immaturity, lack of personal growth and so on. How can you not take a good hard look at your own actions and see what you did to contribute to the breakdown of the relationship?

Personally, when I talk about previous relationships I always take responsibility for my behaviour. I reflect on things I’ve could’ve done better, the challenges I faced and the lessons I learned. These single guys, I’m finding, just like to point their finger at their ex and say, “she wasn’t able to communicate”, “she didn’t put in any effort”, “she had a lot of growing up to do.” Well, what were YOU doing that made her feel unable to speak up and not want to put in any effort? And why did YOU attract someone who has maturing to do?

Catch my drift? These guys need to start taking responsibility for their actions and not place blame on the female counterpart. I’m so sick of this! So please don’t be surprised when I unmatch you after you talk smack about your ex.

You know what’s sexy? Vulnerability. And I know this notion has been going around for awhile now, but it’s true. I’m learning it really is sexy when a man opens up and can be truthful with feelings and reflecting on personal growth. It shows me a deeper side to him, the connection we have gets a little more intimate and allows trust to develop.

So guys, if you’re reading this, think about your last relationship and what you did to disappoint her/make her feel crazy/make her bottled up etc. Think about the reasons you attracted this kind of partner to begin with. Ponder on the lessons you’ve learned and what mistakes you won’t repeat. Think of how YOU could’ve showed up better for her in the relationship and what accountability you can take.

Thank you, Amen.