Ladies: when you’re on a date with a guy and you know you’re not digging him, do you throw down a $20 and pay for your share? I felt compelled to when I went on a Tinder date with a guy who has a neck tattoo. That’s a red flag right there, but I didn’t listen to my gut, mostly because I didn’t want to judge a book by it’s cover. AND he looked rather handsome in his pic.
The date was a complete S.O.S situation. First of all, he was like 20lbs thinner than his photos which made him pretty scrawny, his teeth were god awful, and I’m pretty certain he was tipsy when I arrived. Within seconds I knew it was not going to work and mentally I was waving a flag hoping someone would come save me. Pretty certain I was looking at the wait staff with desperate eyes hoping they would help get me out of this date.
But it’s rude to up and leave, isn’t it? Especially within the first few minutes. So how long do you continue on a bad date for?
It wasn’t just a looks thing, he was like incoherent, dealing with PTSD from the army, not answering basic questions, confessed to being nervous a bunch of times, and then even told me I was looking at him with the most judgemental eyes. I didn’t mean to judge him, but he was a mess.
And side note: It’s a well known fact my feelings are written all over my face. I cannot fake how I’m feeling and I have a hard time lying. This was confirmed to me when I was 15 years old by the first manager I ever had. She pulled me aside and told me how she knew exactly how I was feeling because, yes, it was written all over my face.
Anywho. I excused myself to the bathroom, and a lady started talking to me when we were washing our hands. I think she felt my distressed energy. I told her I was on an awful date and I was scared of leaving because I was unsure of how he would react. Even though she gave me a little pep talk, I still wasn’t prepared to be straight forward with him. Good thing he picked up on my vibes and by the time I got back to the table he had paid the bill, and displayed this by crumpling up the receipt in front of me in an aggressive way.
I was freaked out by this guy, unsure of if he was going to stalk and/or murder me.Extreme? Maybe. But he did do surveillance for the army.
Once I got home and felt safe, I sent him an apology text saying something like “thanks for dinner. Sorry I wasn’t feeling it, I should have said something sooner…” and he was receptive to that. PHEW.
Next time I’m on a bad date, the lesson here is, order one drink and skip the chicken salad wraps.
p.s. this neck tattoo guy liked me on Hinge a few weeks later.