I grew up like this…!

It’s no surprise I am fat! I AM ITALIAN! I grew up in a household where food was never in short supply. I ate two dinners as a kid, and with every win or loss food was the go to. Food was never a means for energy and nutrition for me. Food was my comfort, my entertainment, my medicine. It gave me temporary fulfillment.

In Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life; it says, if you are overweight you are running away from feelings, dealing with insecurity, self-rejection and being oversensitive. Fat often represents fear and a need for protection. Fear may also be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive.

My protection crept on between Grades 2 and 3. I remember my Grade 3 teacher, Ms. Loge, weighed each of her students in front of each other in the nurses office. I was 93 pounds, and my frenemy Didi laughed and blurted it out loud.

The fat on my body serves me a purpose. It kept me safe from finding true love, because if I didn’t accept myself, who else would? Therefore free from social situations and vulnerability.

It kept me safe from success, because I was okay with not working hard. I’m fat, so who expects anything good from me anyway. This prevents me from truly being on my own, and paying my own way. I can always rely on someone else.

Forgiveness  & Anger – I am still digging these ones out.

AFFIRMATION: 

I accept my body and all my curves, lumps & hair. I am at peace with my own feelings. I am safe where I am. I create my own security. I love and approve of myself. I am protected by Divine Love. I am always safe & secure. I am wiling to grow up and take responsibility for my life. I forgive others and I now create my own life the way I want it. I am safe.

I feel guilty…

I feel guilty;

Guilty for being at home & doing nothing;

Guilty for someone else to make the first move;

Guilty for being in my room, unbathed, stoned and watching TV;

My neck hurts a lot, and it’s like I can’t do anything fast enough.

I feel okay with taking a time out. I must let go and reflect:

The person I need to forgive is myself & I forgive me for not loving myself, I forgive me for not valuing myself, I forgive me for not being gentle with myself & I forgive me for being hard on myself.

After being fired…

I was let go from my job at the beginning of December. This was the first time I was fired, & I was okay with the decision because I was not happy in that environment anymore, and it was starting to show.

I left the building feeling relieved, with a renewed sense of hope for a better job and with two tote bags full of shoes. I took a taxi home & was delighted that everyone would be talking about me and sad I didn’t get to say bye to certain people.

This is how I felt in the days after:

– I felt angry

– I felt used

– I felt unappreciated

– I felt in despair

– I felt lonely

– I felt like a failure

After you sit and stew in what happened, resentful emotions come out to play. I sought for advice, and it was to not focus on how I felt, but to focus on how I wanted to feel.

– I wanted to feel supported

– I wanted to feel energetic

– I wanted to feel loved

– I wanted to feel excited

– I wanted to feel involved

– I wanted to feel content

Causes for Being Overweight:

1. Fear, Need of Protection

  • the better you get at understanding your true needs & taking care of them, the more negative body image thoughts will cease.

2. Running Away  From Your Feelings

  • these are your internal guidance system, your signal that you have a belief, need or feeling that needs attentiong.

3. Insecurity, Self Rejection

  • negative body image, thoughts/words must be interrupted/ altered at all times

4. Seeking Fulfillment

  • the body listens to what you’re thinking and responds defensively by keeping fat on your body

THEREFORE:

Treat your body with respect & apologize to it when you judge it or don’t listen to it.

AFFIRMATIONS:

More & More I Am At Peace With My Own Feelings & Know How to Learn From Them & Shift To Trust, Forgiveness, Peace & Joy.

More & More I Am Safe Where I Am.

More & More I Create My Own Security.

More & More I Love & Approve of Myself.

ps: have you ever worried that one day it will be your anonymous mid-section on the 6 o’clock news during a segment on obesity? do those people have to sign release forms? it seems pretty unfair to just put unsuspecting tummies on blast like that.