God is testing me.

I’ve asked to be released from my neediness. I’ve asked for help when it comes to love relationships. And in the last few weeks I’ve been tested. Feelings for my ex arose, I met a really cool guy & someone from my past showed up.

I’m not sure what I was to do in these situations. I want to pass god’s tests, but I think I’ve failed….

I thought about my ex & maybe regretting breaking up with him two years ago, for fear I will be alone forever. I texted him. FAIL.

I met a cool guy, we hit it off immediately, he wanted to make plans to see me, but I became a stage five clinger fast. I started thinking too much about my replies to him. I lost my true essence. FAIL.

A guy I spoke to last year, via online dating, messaged me yesterday. Last year we were supposed to get together, but he cancelled and never bothered rescheduling. Instead of holding him accountable, I was happy to carry on a text conversation with him, even though I knew I was not putting my best interest at heart. And once again, mid conversation, he vanished. FAIL.

My commitment to love has to be greater than my fear of being alone.

Dear Lord,

Please help me.